


Following Protocol

by potionsmaster



Series: Normandy Orthopedics [5]
Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Anatomy, Anatomy lesson, Anxiety, Bad Jokes, Batman - Freeform, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Doctor AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Jargon, Meta, Metafiction, Text Messages, in the closet, seriously, sexy anatomy lesson, silliness, there is a LOT of medical jargon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 01:37:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14801888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potionsmaster/pseuds/potionsmaster
Summary: Shepard and Kaidan continue their relationship, come what may.





	1. Shepard, Actually

**Author's Note:**

> picks up almost immediately after _[Private Practice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7196897/chapters/16332857)_. 
> 
>  
> 
> Special thanks: To ThreeWhiskeyLunch, for being my cheerleader and partner in this AU, and being the best beta an fanficcer could ask for
> 
>  
> 
> To Kate_Shepard, for lighting the fire under my ass to finish this one, fina-f*ckin-ly, lol, and getting me excited over my own projects again
> 
>  
> 
> To Mareel, who’s always the angel and devil on my shoulder for bouncing ideas around and believing in me to pull it off no matter what
> 
>  
> 
> To HeavenOnFire, for all the shared squeals about Batman and Mass Effect while also bringing to life one of my favorite scenes in this story [Art masterpost here!!](http://gratuacuun.tumblr.com/post/174405225065/gratuasart-art-for-nightmarestudio606-another)
> 
>  
> 
> To Azzy_Darling, for running this whole event and doing it with class and style year after year ^__^

**_Following Protocol,_**  by potionsmaster

 

Rating: M for language and sex, whaaaaaaaat.  Nooooooooo, not _me_

 

 **Chapter 1:** _Shepard, Actually_

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Normandy Orthopedics, this is John.  How can I help you?” Shepard rolled his chair forward an inch, hands ready and waiting over his keyboard.  A deep, rasping lady’s voice answered him through his headset through what sounded like a large static burst.

 

“Ron?  I can’t-how do I turn this damn thing- _hello?_ DAMMIT-”

 

“He-hello?” he asked cautiously.

 

“RONNIE!  Can you hear me-? Oh... _here_ we go.  Stupid cell phone…” she muttered, much more clear. “I somehow had you on speaker.  Yeah, hi, name’s Aethyta.”

 

“Hello.  Mine is actually John.  Can I help you?”

 

“Oh.   _Actually John_.  That’s _actually_ a nice name...much better than ‘Ron’, but I wasn’t going to say anything.”

 

He bit back a chuckle.  “Well, I guess it’s a very good thing Ron isn’t ‘actually’ my name.  What can I help you with today?”

 

“Eh.  The usual aches and pains.  I’m old, you know. Don’t do it.  Not worth it. How are you?”

 

“Uh…” He furrowed his brow, not quite sure how to take the call.  “I’m sorry, don’t do what?”

 

“Geeeez.  Keep up with the conversation, will ya?  Growing old. Don’t do it, Johnny, take my word on it.  Anyway…you were saying how you were. So how are you?”

 

“I’m doing ok, I guess.  No complaints.”

 

“That’s lucky.  Got any plans for the weekend?”

 

“Well...dinner with a...friend, I guess, and--was there something I could help you with?”

 

“‘Friend’, huh?  Suuuure…’friend’...that’s what you kids call it these days, I guess...”  He could feel the tips of his ears start to flush. “I’m just messin’ with ya, kid, it’s a nice afternoon and I’m sure you’re bored answering the phone.  Thought I could give ya a bit of a break. My elbow is hurting.”

 

“I appreciate it,” he chuckled, “But I don’t mind.  May I have your last name, please?”

 

“Oh, huh, yeah, I suppose that’d be helpful, wouldn’t it?  T’Soni. I should already be in there.”

 

“T’Soni…”   _Code A - Liara’s stepmother_ popped up on the screen.  “Oh! Why yes, yes you are.”

 

She snickered.  “There’s a note on my chart about Liara, isn’t there?”  

 

“Yeah.  It’s a courtesy thing.”

 

“Sure, ‘courtesy’.  More like a ‘watch out for this one, she’s trouble’, I’ll bet.”

 

“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far,” he replied, amused.  “Have any of our doctors treated you for this issue before?  Or is this a new injury?”

 

“No injury, I already told you.  I’m _old_.  We covered this.  It’s just wore out.  But it’s a new issue.  Stick me with whoever’s good.  Preferably a cute one.”

 

“Uh…”  He couldn’t help it, his ears were burning. “I...I wouldn’t...know, exactly, um-”

 

“Oh, for Chrissake, I’m just yanking your chain, kid.  Who’ve you got?”

 

After he finished scheduling her with Dr. Cole, she hung up with a “Thanks, toots,” and he went back to gazing out his window.  It was a slow afternoon in the scheduling department and the lack of constantly ringing phones was pleasant. Every once in awhile a call would come through, but as the afternoon wore on, the frequency had dropped to almost nil.  Samara had asked them earlier to fold new patient paperwork into envelopes in order to keep the them all busy, but once the stacks of papers had disappeared, she let them relax a bit. She herself was using the down time to catch up on some outstanding tasks.  

 

“I’m sorry, Doctor, but for whatever reason the file won’t load properly.  It must be corrupted or something; I don’t believe I can email it this way.  Yes, I can print a copy and bring it down to the pod. You’re in 8?” he heard her murmur into the phone on his left and a drop of warmth spread outwards from his stomach.  Pod 8 was Kaidan’s little section of the practice where his exam rooms were. Or rather, _Dr. Alenko’s_ designated area...he still found it a bit odd to think of him with such a formal title.  They’d only been dating for a couple of weeks officially, but it still made him a little uncomfortable that they hadn’t know they worked in the same place until after they slept together.  Talk about a major oops.

 

He sighed and looked at the calendar he had tacked up on the cubicle wall: it had all the portraits of the doctors and their specialties listed underneath.   _Dr. Michael K. Alenko: General, Joint Replacement, Sports Medicine_.  Below that was listed ‘board certified’.  Kaidan’s warm brown eyes smiled at him confidently from the individual headshot.  Nobody else at the practice besides Joker and Garrus knew about the relationship, he was pretty sure.  He pulled the stiff cardstock off the wall and flipped it over, looking for him in the group picture. Kaidan looked handsome in his white coat and stethoscope.  

 

“Yes, Dr. A...I’m printing it now and will be down shortly.  Good-bye.” Samara heaved a sigh and looked at the pile of papers already stacked on her desk.  

 

“Something I can help with?” Shepard offered.  Her piercing blue eyes focused on him.

 

“It’s never ending some days, I swear...Dr. Hackett wants me to revise his scheduling rules and so does Dr. Chakwas. And this is after he cancelled all his office next week, too.  Dr. Alenko got it in his head all of a sudden that his new patient paperwork might need to be changed, and Dr. Massani is griping that he’s not getting enough new patients anymore.  It would help if he started taking call more often at the hospital again...he used to be on four days a week if he could. Now? Maybe once or twice. If that.” She shook her head.

 

“Sounds tedious,” he said as he leaned back in his chair, toying with the calendar.  

 

“It has that element some days,” she agreed. “Since you asked, John, would you mind being my courier?  I have to drop off these referrals in Medical Records, then bring the paperwork down to pod 8. Do you remember where everything is?”

 

He nodded as she dropped a thick stack of papers in his lap.  

 

“Just give them to either Liara or Javik.  Javik might complain about it, though. Then these go to Dr. Alenko.” She dropped another small sheaf of papers crosswise on top.

 

“Anything else you need me to run somewhere?” he chuckled, reattaching the calendar to his cubicle wall.  Samara paused, considering.

 

“No…” she said slowly, “Not at this moment, at least.  Put your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ before you leave, please.  Feel free to reacquaint yourself with the pod layout if you need to; I surmise we'll have the time this afternoon.”  She sat down and turned towards the remaining pile of papers, rifling through it.

 

Shepard could feel eyes on him as he tucked his chair beneath his desk and grabbed the mountains of paper.  He nodded at the lady on the other side of him, Khalisah, on his way out, shutting the door quietly behind him.

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Subjective. Patient presents today for ongoing pain in her right shoulder,” Kaidan spoke into the recorder.  He was holed up in the dictation room for pod 8. Office had finished early that day and he was looking forward to a relatively relaxing last hour of the afternoon to catch up on mountains of paperwork.  Sometimes he wondered how the other doctors kept their heads above the never-ending avalanche of test results, op notes, and request forms. At least he was in the habit of completing dictation at the end of the appointment.  Dr. Jahleed was legendary for being thorough with the patient, running late, then rushing to the next appointment without doing any kind of notes in between and submitting skimpy office notes a few days later.

 

“Patient was playing tennis approximately a week ago when the pain started. No previous history of injury or any diagnostics regarding this instance…” he furrowed his brow at his notes as he paused, shuffling through the paperwork she had filled out.  “...no previous surgeries. Patient uses OTC anti-inflammatories as needed along with a daily multivitamin, is requesting Dilaudid for pain instead of Norco. Reports Norco gives her a rash.”

 

Someone was walking down the hall towards the nurse’s station but it didn’t sound like Jack; he couldn’t see outside the dictation room.  He adjusted his reading glasses and cleared his throat.

 

“Objective. Patient is 5’8”, 133 lbs. On exam of her right shoulder, she has full active abduction.  Her passive glenohumeral abduction is 90 degrees, passive external rotation is 50 degrees, supraspinatus strength 4 out of 5, external rotation strength 4 out of 5, and internal rotation is to-”  

 

A shadow fell across his desk and he looked up.  John was leaning against the door frame with an amused smirk on his face, arms crossed and a handful of papers curled into a tube. Kaidan felt his face light up.  

 

“ _Just a second_ ,” he mouthed.  “-lumbar spine. Positive impingement and tenderness over biceps region.  Positive Speed’s test, positive Yergason’s test. Assessment.” He tried to stop himself from rushing through the rest and knew he failed horribly.  “Suspected labral tear in right shoulder. Plan: At this point in time, we need to order an MRI to rule out. Will see patient back in office within a week of the study and will make definitive treatment decisions regarding surgery.”

 

He hit the ‘stop record’ button and turned towards the other man with a grin on his face.  Shepard glanced over his shoulder then stepped in the cramped space, handing him the curled up papers.  The tips of his ears flushed slightly when their fingers touched.

 

“Oh, my god,” Shepard said. “Anyone ever tell you how sexy you sound when you speak ‘doctor-ese’?”  He grinned. “Talk about total nerd-gasm.”

 

“Nope,” Kaidan snorted.  “You’d be the first.” He tossed the papers next to the chart and dictaphone, then stuffed his hands in his pockets.  The urge to touch Shepard was almost unbearable, but they were trying to keep it as quiet as possible at the practice.  Kaidan was pretty certain Shepard would catch a lot of flack from gossipers and rumors, not to mention his own reputation would be tarnished in the business world.

 

“You mean you didn’t sweet-talk your way into someone’s pants in school by reciting your anatomy textbook at them?”

 

“Hardly,” he scoffed, “I risk alienating people enough with using the type of vocabulary I already do, according to Jack.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Shepard said softly, “It just shows how smart you are.”  He reached up and touched the bridge of the reading glasses before gently pulling them off, turning them over as he examined them.  “It’s _almost_ ruined by these, though,” he teased.  “Overkill. You’re such a dork.”

 

“I prefer the term ‘distinguished’,” Kaidan retorted.  “How long’ve you got until Samara hunts you down?”

 

“Um, I have a few minutes to spare.  It’s been kinda dead up there. We spent the morning moving Dr. Hackett’s patients from next week.  That was entertaining, as always. Especially when we had to tell the patients that his aunt died.” He perched the glasses on the tip of his nose.  “What’s the point of these? They barely make a difference to me.”

 

Kaidan chuckled. “They help magnify small print for me. Plus it adds to my nerd believability.  You look good in them, by the way…”

 

The younger man raised his chin to peer through them, forehead wrinkled in concentration.   

 

“Look, I can be a doctor, too.  Super-stinatus, labrial tear...I’m a scalpel jock who tries to take everything to surgery.”

 

“Sup- _ra-_ SPin-aye-tus, smart ass…” Kaidan snorted, popping the ‘p’s.  “And I have no idea what a ‘labrial’ tear would be, but it sounds painful.  I wouldn’t do surgery if it didn’t require it...is that what you really think I am?”

 

“No.  I overheard that on a tv show once.  I just liked the way it sounded. What’s the suPRAspinatus, then, smarty pants?”  Shepard laughed and pulled off the glasses, holding them out for the other man.

 

“Keep ‘em,” Kaidan shook his head.  “I’ll get them from you later. It’s in your shoulder. Right…here.”  He lightly dug the butt of his pen in the muscle on top of Shepard’s shoulder.

 

“Hm,” Shepard said as he put the glasses back on, “That sounds dirty.”

 

“Good.  It was meant to.”

 

“That a promise?”

 

“Count on it.  You should probably go, though.  Wouldn’t want you to be late.”

 

“There’s only a little bit left in the day.  She said she didn’t really care how long I took.”  He twisted his back to stretch and shoved the glasses up his nose.  Kaidan smiled at him.

 

“Well, in _that_ case…”

 

Shepard snorted.

 

“I was meaning to ask you,” Kaidan continued. “About your birthday, I mean.  It’s on a Monday, yeah? April 11?”

 

“Yep.  Why?”

 

“Why don’t you take the day off?  I can cancel office and we can make a day of it.  Plan something special.”

 

“You’d...do that?” Shepard stared at him over the tops of the glasses.

 

“Well, yeah.  Why wouldn’t I?  Despite what popular opinion is around this place, I do actually need a little down time to take a break,” he laughed.   “I have a few things to finish up down here and then I’ll meet you at your place. I can give you a rub down later; show you more in depth where your supraspinatus is.”

 

“Private anatomy lesson, huh? I can get behind that.”

 

“Sounds good.  We still need to work out when to start running here. Save some time.”  

 

“Alright.  I should go…” Shepard glanced at his phone, then tucked it in his pocket.  

 

“See ya,” Kaidan lifted his hand goodbye, turning back to the papers John had dropped off.  Murmurs in the hall outside the exam rooms filtered in while he glanced over them. A few minutes later Jack popped her head in the room.

 

“Thought you’d bolt by now,” she said, hanging off the doorjamb.  He squinted at the patient information ask sheet.

 

“Yeah, well...got a few things I need to finish up.  You almost done?”

 

“Pfff, _done_.  What is this fabled thing you speak of?”

 

“Is that a big word I heard out of you?  Huh.”

 

She rolled her eyes.

 

“Ha, ha, jerkface.  You’re a bad influence.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“Hey...was John wearing your glasses?”

 

“Nope.  Why?”

 

“Weird.  I didn’t know he wore glasses.  I could’ve sworn they were yours…”

 

“Nah.”

 

Jack stopped hanging off the doorjamb and crossed her arms, scowling.

 

“Then where _are_ yours, hmm?”

 

“Left ‘em home.”

 

“Weren’t you wearing them earlier?”  

 

“What’s with the third degree?”  He quirked an eyebrow at her. She raised one right back at him and cocked her head to the side.

 

“Because you’re acting weird lately.”

 

He chuckled and dropped the paper back on the desk.  The print was small enough it was swimming together and giving him a bit of an issue.  Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to let Shepard walk off with his glasses. He hadn’t been thinking at the moment; it would figure Jack of all people would see John in them.  One minor slip up would be all it took for rumors to start flying. He hoped it wouldn’t be his glasses that tipped the cat out of the bag, of all things.

 

“I thought you said I was _happy_ lately.”

 

“Well, yeah.  That’s weird. You’re never this upbeat.  I’m guessing things worked out from a couple weeks ago?”

 

“Everything’s peachy.  Thanks for the concern.”  He started shutting down his computer.  “Remind me to turn those back into Samara, would you? Also, I’m cancelling office a couple of Mondays from now.”

 

“Y’know, nobody _else_ has to put up with this…”  She scratched her shoulder. “Wait, what?”

 

“You’re right.  None of the other doctors have to put up with you, either.”

 

“Hold up” she said,  “What’s this about cancelling office?  That’s twice in five weeks. What gives?”

 

He smirked at her and grabbed his jacket.

 

“Have a good weekend.  See you bright and early Monday.”

 

“DOC!” Jack howled, “You are _such_ a jerk! One of these days I’m actually going to meet her.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll meet them at some point,” he tossed over his shoulder.  “S’long.”

 

“Ugh! See ya...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Pizza and Beer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner plans have a habit of changing

_**Following Protocol**_ , by potionsmaster

 

Rating: M

 

 **Chapter 2:** _Pizza and Beer_

 

~*~*~*~

  


Shepard unlocked the door to his apartment building, whistling to himself under his breath.  

 

“Hey, Johnny... ”

 

He looked up from his keys.  A tired-looking older man doddered towards him.

 

“Hey, Zabaleta...how’re you doing?”

 

“Oh, okay for now, I guess.  Say...you going to be around this weekend?”

 

“Not really.  Going to my buddy’s for a bit tomorrow and staying there.”

 

“He the one with the car?”

 

Shepard fought not to let his cheeks flush.

 

“Yeah...I guess it kinda sticks out around here, huh?”

 

The other man rasped a chuckle and ran a trembling hand through his shaggy hair.  

 

“Just a bit…kinda cool, though, never get to see something like it otherwise.  Say, you wanna get a bite?”

 

“Not tonight, I’m sorry.  I got plans.”

 

“Oh, alright.  I’ll catch you next time.  Take care, Johnny. Good seeing you.”  Zabaleta shoved his hands in his hoodie’s pocket and started walking again.  Shepard took a few steps up the staircase, then stopped, looking back at the dejected man’s shoulders.

 

“Hey, Ernesto?  You, uh...you got anything to eat tonight?”

 

The other man paused, shoulders hunched.  

 

“Don’t worry about it, Shepard.  We’ll catch up later.”

 

“Ernie…” Shepard said quietly.  “C’mon. I’m kinda hungry for a sandwich, now that you mentioned it.”  He started back up the stairs. Zabaleta heaved a sigh and slowly followed after him.  They both chuckled in exasperation as Shepard had to shove the door with his shoulder and jiggle the lock.  “Damn thing’s getting worse, I swear. Landlord’s not in a hurry to get it fixed, either.”

 

“Yeah...Took me three months to convince them the faucet in my bathroom wouldn’t stop dripping.”  They entered the apartment and Shepard hung his keys on the hook, tossing his jacket over the back of his couch.  “Did you add more tubes to Boo’s thing?”

 

Shepard chuckled again as he rolled up his sleeves and walked to the kitchen, opening the cabinets.  His hamster’s space-age cage with tube attachments that ran all over the living room was legendary among his neighbors.  “Probably. Since the last time you’ve been here, anyway.” He pulled out a loaf of bread and an unopened jar of peanut butter; ever since Kaidan had gotten him started on eating it on toast in the morning, he tried to keep a few jars on hand.  After another moment’s deliberation, he pulled another down and set it next to the bread. Zabaleta had his head in the fridge. “Should be some lunch meat in the drawer, and some cheese. You got jelly at home?”

 

“Uh… ”

 

He added a jar of grape jelly to the pile on his counter and his phone buzzed in his pocket.   _Kaidan_.  He pulled it out while getting a plastic bag from his stash under the sink and checked the messages.

 

 **_Kaidan_ ** _18:32:_ Beep, beep.  In the parking lot; you almost ready to go to dinner?  Been waiting for a few

 

 ** _Shepard_** _18:33:_ yeah, sorry.  Had something unexpected come up.  I might be a bit. Door’s open if you want to come up

 

 **_Kaidan_ ** _18:34:_ :*( everything ok?  Sounds serious

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _18:35:_ it’s fine.  Helping a neighbor

 

He chewed his bottom lip a moment, scanning the kitchen for anything else he might be able to spare.  There was more than there had been a few months ago, thanks to Kaidan insisting on buying groceries ‘ _To replace what I use when I’m here_ ’ and overstocking him, and he didn’t mind passing on the extras if he could.  He added a few cans of tuna and soup, rummaging for some crackers when he heard the door open.

 

“Hello!” a husky voice called out.  Zabaleta jumped and looked guiltily at the door, shoulders hunched as Kaidan made his way into the kitchen and started to reach out to kiss him hello, hand outstretched.  Shepard pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows with a small shake of his head, giving a weak ‘high five’ in the other man’s palm. Luckily, Kaidan rolled with it and pulled into a half ‘man-hug’ with a pat on the back and only a slight furrow in his brow.  He felt about as big as an ant when they dropped their arms and Kaidan moved away from him without another glance. It wasn’t Kaidan’s fault Shepard was still half in the closet, and he was very accomodating of it, but he still felt fucking awful about hiding it.

 

“Sup, man?  Uh...Ernie, this is my friend, Kaidan.  Kaid, this is my neighbor.”

 

True to form, Kaidan offered his hand and an easy smile to Zabaleta.  “Good to meet you!”

 

“You’re the one with the car, right?” Zabaleta mumbled, face pinched as he brusquely shook Kaidan’s hand.  “Nice to meet you, too. Glad to see you’re keeping Johnny out of trouble.”

 

“Well, I’m not so sure about _that_ …” Kaidan laughed, leaning against the counter, “But he’s certainly helping _me_ keep occupied…”  Shepard felt his ears burn as he shoved the food in a spare plastic bag.  

 

“Heh.  I suppose that’s something, yeah,” Zabaleta chuckled, straightening up. “That’s plenty, Johnny, I got water to drink a-plenty.  You really don’t have to even…” Shepard fixed him with a ‘look’ and put an unopened jug of iced tea in another bag before handing them both to him.  Zabaleta rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before accepting them and shuffling his feet.

 

“I’m watching my weight right now, Ernie, I don’t want to see it go to waste.  You’re doing me a favor by taking it. Really,” he said gently, gesturing towards the door.  “I’ll walk you out.” Zabaleta nodded and grabbed his arm, glancing back at Kaidan before leaning in.

 

“You’re a good kid, y’know that, Johnny-boy?  Hannah raised you right. Real shame about your father… I miss him.” The grizzled man looked down, voice croaking.  “Wish he coulda seen you grow up, but… I guess I did it for him. Would talk to him on and off over the years, and tell him about you.  He’d be real proud of you and what you do. Christ, sometimes it feels like I’m talkin’ to him again when I talk to you. You look the spittin’ image of him…  Tell your mom ‘hi’ from old Zabaleta, if she remembers me from back in the day. I’ll see ya.”

 

Shepard closed the door softly after he left, leaning on it and  exhaling slowly. His father and Zabaleta had served together in the Navy years ago and was a grim reminder of what life could very easily be.  

  


~*~*~*~

  


Kaidan leaned on his elbows, watching his boyfriend say goodbye to his neighbor, a little wrinkle of concern between his eyebrows as he closed the door softly behind him.  That had been an unexpected surprise, he thought, but not a wholly unwelcome one. In fact, it was endearing as hell.

 

“You ok?” Kaidan asked quietly.  

 

“Yeah...I’m alright.  He just...brings back memories, is all.”  Shepard rubbed the back of his neck and blew out a slow breath as he turned and got an embarrassed look on his face, ears tipping pink.  “What…?” he asked slowly, ducking his head and making his way back to Kaidan. The older man bit his lower lip, grinning as he pushed off the counter and opened his arms to hug him.  

 

“Just you,” he murmured before their lips met in a soft kiss.  “That was...a very nice thing you did for that man. Just makes me feel even luckier and happier that we met.  Did you meet him here?”

 

“No.  He was a family friend; Dad served with him years ago and they kept in contact until-” Shepard’s lips pursed and he steeled himself, “-until the accident, anyway.  He and Dad were ‘battle buddies’. Even after they got discharged, they always kept in touch. After, though...Ernie kinda disappeared over the years. I think he didn’t really like Peter.  Mom met him at the garage where they towed Dad’s car, of all places.” Bitterness laced his words; Kaidan hadn’t had the displeasure of meeting John’s stepfather yet and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to refrain from giving him a piece of his mind when he did.

 

“The accident where your dad…?” Kaidan asked quietly.  Shepard’s shoulders hunched and he cupped his cheek, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone.  “I’m so sorry to hear that, John…” he whispered, kissing him gently again. Shepard patted his hand and walked beyond him, straightening up the countertops again.

 

“It’s alright.  I was nine. I got over it,” came the soft reply.  “Lost track of Ernie until I discovered he lived a couple doors down.  I couldn’t just leave him.”

 

Kaidan slid his arms around Shepard’s middle, kissing between his shoulder blades.  “He’s lucky your paths crossed again.”

         

“I guess,” he sighed.  “I don’t have much, but he needs it more.  We missed our reservation, didn’t we? I’m sorry.”

 

“Hey…” Kaidan said, pulling him around and resting his arms on the taller man’s shoulders.  “Don’t worry about it. This was more important. And...we were just going to end up back here anyway… Am I right?”  That garnered an amused snort. “What’ve you got? I’m starving.” He opened the fridge and rummaged around.

 

“You sure you still don’t want to go out?”

  
  
“Nah. Saves gas this way.  Too bad you don’t have steak.  I see bacon, and we’ll definitely need to crack open some of those beers, but no steak?  I don’t know if we can still be friends.”

 

Shepard huffed a laugh and went into the freezer. “I got steak right here, I just...wasn’t expecting to use it right now.  Otherwise I would have pulled it.”

 

“Could always quick-thaw it… got any garlic?” Kaidan mumbled, more to himself than anything. He pulled a couple of the beers out and popped their tops, pouring them into glasses.  Shepard huffed a laugh of amusement and took one of the glasses from him, fingertips brushing.

 

“Why?  You gonna cook?”

 

“Well, yeah.  Why not?”

 

“You want me to sit there and watch you _cook_.”

 

“No, you’d be helping me drink _beer_.  Now sit your ass down.”  He hunted around the kitchen, trying to find something else to make, and found a jar of marinara next to a box of ziti.  “Want pasta? I can tweak the sauce a bit, add some veggies, make a salad…”

 

“Or how about you stop being a busybody, sit down for once, and we put in a frozen pizza and watch something instead?”

 

Kaidan chuckled and closed the cabinet, slipping his arms around Shepard and giving him a soft kiss.  “You’ve convinced me. Kind of a carb-heavy meal, though.”

 

The other man tipped his head and kissed him again, a little more insistently this time.  “I’m sure we can find some way to burn off the calories, Kaid.”

 

“Mm.  I believe I promised you a personalized anatomy lesson earlier…” He tucked his thumbs in the waistband of Shepard’s pants, brushing along his skin.  

 

“That you did.  Tease.” They both looked down at Shepard’s stomach as it growled.  “Though maybe it should wait until after dinner?”

 

Kaidan grinned at him before kissing him once more.  “Deal.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. I Am the Knight

_**Following Protocol**_ , by potionsmaster

 

Rating: M

 

 **Chapter 3:**   _I Am the Knight_

 

~*~*~*~

 

Shepard wound up cuddling in Kaidan’s arms on the couch, half drunk beers and pizza crusts on plates shoved to the side on the coffee table, and legs tangled together in the knit black and white chevron blanket that had fallen over them from the back of the couch.   _The Dark Knight_ flickered on the TV in the background.  Shepard rolled over on top of Kaidan, resting his chin on his sternum.  

 

“Never would have pegged you for liking this shit.”

 

“Really?  Everybody loves Batman… Why?  ” Kaidan rested his hands on Shepard’s shoulders, gently pressing the heels of his palms into the muscle.  He dropped his head onto Kaidan’s chest with a soft moan.

 

“ _Fuck_ , that feels good...and I dunno, I just...never really think that doctors like pop culture stuff.”

 

“For whatever reason, a lot of people don’t think we have interests outside of work.  Or that if we do, it’s all stuffy, dress-up crap.”

 

Shepard groaned and wiggled a little against him, relaxing as the other man moved to his shoulder blades.  “Everybody who doesn’t know any better glamorizes it. And with some of the reality TV shows around, it only perpetuates it.  You’re really kinda normal when you get down to it.”

 

“Ex _cuse_ me?” Kaidan laughed.  “ _Normal_?  I think I resent that.”  

 

“Yeah, well...everybody needs a hobby, Kaid.   _God_ , your fingers are _heaven_ …” He moaned as Kaidan continued working his shoulders with a gentle pressure, moving to the base of his neck.  “Weren’t you... _mmph_...weren’t you going to give me an ‘anatomy lesson’?  Supraspinatus? Right?”

 

Kaidan chuckled, running his thumbs in the groove on the tops of the younger man’s shoulders.  “Uh-huh. Right here…” he murmured, lips brushing over Shepard’s forehead, “...connects your scapula to your humerus.”

 

Shepard buried his face in Kaidan’s neck, sighing contentedly as the other man continued to gently probe the muscles on his shoulders..  “....s’not funny, y’know,” he mumbled.

 

“Heh.  Nope. No, it is not.”  

 

He moaned again, relaxing heavily on Kaidan’s chest. “So...shoulder bone connects to the supraspinatus, which then connects to the other shoulder bone and arm bone?”

 

“Pff.  Sure. We’ll go with that...but if you’re talking muscles, which last I knew we were, next up is the _infra_ spinatus.” He ran the flat of his hands over Shepard’s shoulder blades.  “Part of your rotator cuff, it’s the ‘meat’ over your shoulder blade…” His hands slid further down his back, thumbs trailing the bottom edge of his shoulder blades.  “Then your teres major, which then connects to your latissimus dorsi...you got a lot of knots on yours, speaking of which...everything ok?”

 

Shepard lifted his head up and blinked at him.  “Yeah. I mean, nothing is _wrong_ , per se, just...long week and I’m glad you’re here, and-” he fiddled with the sleeves on Kaidan’s shirt- “I don’t want to hide you, but I’m petrified of what’ll happen if we’re open, and -”

 

He was interrupted by Kaidan tipping his chin up and pressing their lips together softly.  “We both have a stake in keeping it fairly quiet, babe. Especially right now. Y’know?”

 

“Yeah, I know…”

  
  
“Remind me this week to set up a meeting with Pressly, mmkay?  That should take care of a big part of it.”

 

Shepard nodded and sighed, glancing at the screen.  Commissioner Gordon had the Joker in an interrogation room.  “This scene kind of makes me think of us.” Kaidan looked as well and flinched as Batman smashed the Joker’s head forward onto the table.

 

“...severe head trauma makes you think of _us_?” he asked skeptically, quirking an eyebrow at the younger man.  Batman then pounded a fist into the Joker’s hand on the TV. “Even though, yes, I agree with the Joker here, I wouldn’t start by concussing my target.  The hand gives you many more options to inflict pain and damage that will still leave the subject cognizant. He probably has more than a few fractured metacarpals with that.  Ouch.”

 

“Um…” Shepard blinked at him.  “That’s...that’s a little disconcerting to hear, not going to lie.”  Kaidan cupped his cheek, brushing his thumb over his skin.

 

“What is?  The brutality?  You were a soldier, like me.  That shouldn’t bother you.”

 

“No,” Shepard huffed, “The fact that you agree with the Joker.  And no, that’s not what I meant, by the way. He’s...not right. Nobody’s home, y’know?”

 

“I believe you have _also_ accused me of being ‘not right’, heh.  Would it surprise you to know I agree with him on more than just that?” He drew Shepard down for another kiss, nipping his bottom lip gently.

 

“Uh...should I be worried?”

 

Kaidan nodded towards the screen again, the Joker earnestly talking to the Dark Knight.  He spoke along with the character again.

 

“I don’t wanna _kill_ you...what would I do _without you_?” He kissed Shepard again.“Go back to rippin’ off mob dealers?  No. No... _no…_ No, _you..._ _You complete me.”_  

 

The younger man blushed furiously, biting back a grin.  “Super glad to hear you don’t want to kill me. That means a lot, Kaid.  Thanks.” He chuckled as the older man lightly smacked his chest.

 

“ _That’s_ what you took away from that?  Asshole,” Kaidan grumbled, amused.

 

“Not at all,” he whispered, shrugging the blanket up over his shoulders and head.  “That was what I meant when I said it reminded me of us.” The older man raised his other eyebrow, pretending to be stern as Shepard pushed himself off Kaidan’s chest and knelt between his legs.  “Though...if you’re the Joker...that must mean-” he dropped his voice- “I’m the Batman.” He flung his arm dramatically in front of his face, blanket flapping.

 

 

“It also means you’re a _dork_.”

 

“Excuse me, I believe _you’re_ the dork?”

 

“Takes one to know one…” Kaidan cupped his hands on Shepard’s hips, steadying him. He spoke along with Joker again: “ _You’re just a freak.  Like me._ Two sides as the same coin, right?”

 

“It is _really_ scary how well you impersonate him, but you’re a bit off on the coin analogy.  Your nerd status has been revoked. Two-Face is an awesome character, but there isn’t any homoerotic tension between them and Bats that I know of.”

 

“Two words, John.  Fan. Fiction.”

 

Shepard felt his forehead crease as his eyebrows arched in surprise.  “ _Most_ intriguing...and how would you be aware of this phenomenon, hmm?”  He ran his hands down Kaidan’s chest and unbuttoned his pants.

 

“I was in high school, once upon a time.  It was, ah. _Educational_.  To find stories people had written in books and movies and TV shows I liked back then.”

 

“‘Educational’? Is that what we’re calling it?” Shepard teased, sliding the zipper down and tugging on the cloth.  Kaidan lifted his hips to help.

 

“Mmhm...very enlightening material.  Though when it gets down to it, I prefer what’s happening in real life.  Especially right now.”

 

“Oh yeah?  Why’s that?”  He cocked his head to the side, blanket slipping off his head and puddled around his knees while he wrapped a hand around Kaidan’s length, languidly stroking it to hardness.

 

“Give me a real connection any day,” Kaidan replied softly, gazing up at him heatedly and reaching out to cup between Shepard’s legs.  “Though at the moment, one might say that the Dark Knight _does_ , in fact, _rise_ …”  Shepard snorted in amusement and pressed forward in his hand.

 

“So that’s how it’s gonna go, huh?  You know what happens when the Dark Knight rises, right?”

 

Kaidan bit his lower lip and shook his head, dark eyes locked on Shepard’s.  The younger man moved Kaidan’s hand to his back again, shuffling himself down and bringing his lips to kiss the tip of Kaidan’s length.

 

“It means he’s gonna have to take the Joker _down_ …”

 

The resulting moan and view of Kaidan tipping his head back as Shepard’s lips closed around him was well-worth the bad jokes and ridiculous puns, he decided, movie completely forgotten in the background.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Shoe Shopping, Smarts, and Smoothies

_**Following Protocol** ,_ by potionsmaster

 

Rating: M

 

 **Chapter 4:** _Shoe Shopping, Smarts, and Smoothies_

 

~*~*~*~

 

“So tell me again how just by looking at the bottom of my shoe you can tell I have high arches?” Shepard gave Kaidan a dubious look the next day.  Kaidan laughed and nudged him with his elbow; they were at the mall next to the apartment complex Shepard lived in to get him a new pair of running shoes.

 

“You saying I’m wrong?” he teased gently.  Shepard rolled his eyes.

 

“No...but I _am_ curious how you can tell.”

 

Kaidan picked up one of the kicked off shoes and held it so the sole faced them.

 

“The wear pattern.  If you look in comparison to mine-” he held up his own shoe, “-see how I have a slight pronation here? You don't.  My feet are a bit flat, which makes me wear out this side faster. And if you see here on yours-”

 

“Kaidan…” Shepard cut him off with a smile.  “I believe you, I just am amazed once again by how smart you are.”

 

The dark haired man’s ears flushed pink.

 

“Nothing smart about it, just observation…” he mumbled, turning back to the display of shoes. “I think these would be best for you.  They’re fairly sturdy, but they’re lighter than some of the other models out there. And you can add some arch support inserts if you need to, which you will want to do once the cushion starts to compress.”

 

Shepard nudged him with his elbow and took the pair to try on, lacing them up and jumping in place a few times on his toes before jogging up the aisle and back.  Kaidan’s brow was furrowed as he watched.

 

“I’ll take your word for it, Kaidan. These’ll work.”

 

“Yeah?” Kaidan put the new shoes back in their box and brought them up to the register.  “Excellent. Happy birthday in advance.”

 

“Kaid…” Shepard groaned, shuffling after him.  “Stop buying me shit. You don’t have to.”

 

“We’ve been over this,” the older man said matter of factly, handing the cashier his card.  “I know I don’t _have_ to.  I-”

 

“-want to,” they both finished.  

 

“Exactly,” Kaidan replied, amused at the eye roll he gave him.  “I gotta have some kind of a hobby, right?”

 

“Oh my _god_ , Kaidan, no.  That’s ridiculous. _Stop-”_  Shepard eyed the number on the register and tried to knock his hand out of the way, huffing in frustration as the other man just laughed and moved the card to his other hand, blocking Shepard.

 

“Don’t think about the number, it’s a gift and a good investment.  Say ‘thank you’.”

 

“Thank you,” Shepard groused, ears pink.  Kaidan put his card away and gathered up the bag, tucking the receipt in his wallet.

 

“You’re welcome, heh.  You hungry at all?”

 

They left the store, shoulders, arms, and knuckles brushing together and Shepard ached to take his hand.  There were just too many _people_ around, and it wasn’t worth the stares and dirty looks they would be sure to get.  A guy and a girl walked ahead of them, swinging their linked hands between them nonchalantly and a stab of longing went through him again.

 

“Um...no, not really.  Especially if we’re making dinner kinda early at your place tonight.”

 

“Good point...could use a snack, though.”  Kaidan bit his lower lip, scanning the food court.  “Ah. Smoothie? That should hold us over til we can get home.”  They wandered over to join the expansive line, shoulders bumping into each other again.  “Actually...do you mind holding the bag a minute while I run to the restroom?”

 

Shepard took the bag and let their hands linger together a few moments.  “Not at all...what do you want, just in case I get to the window before you get back?”

 

“Raspberry, if you please…” Kaidan said, glancing around before quickly pecking him on the lips.  Shepard blinked and felt his ears burn, fighting a grin even as his stomach flipped on itself. It seemed they’d been able to get away with it; the crowd around them kept up their loud chattering and bustling.  The other man winked at him. “You’re the best. Be right back.”

 

The line progressed slowly towards the counter as Shepard watched his retreating form, tension slowly draining from his shoulders.  This was why he didn’t like to go out in public with Kaidan. What if someone saw them being affectionate and commented? Or worse yet, started yelling threats at them?  He remembered in boot camp one of the other guys in his squad had been open and gotten slocked* for it. The DIs had looked the other way and he had been determined even more to keep to himself.  He reminded himself that nobody was going to jump them out in public, especially for a barely-there kiss. Probably. He chewed his lower lip, anxiety starting to creep back in. Kaidan was taking a long time; maybe someone _had_ seen and they cornered him in the bathroom --- no.  He stopped that train of thought immediately. Kaidan had run with marines; he could take care of himself.  Anybody that stupid to try to take him on had another thing coming to them. His phone buzzed then.

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:42:_  so

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _14:42:_ sew buttons

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:43:_  cute hobby.  You’re a man of many talents

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _14:44_  pff.  What’re you up to, besides antagonizing me?

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:45:_ oh, nothing much. Out and about, taking in the sights and antagonizing you

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _14:45:_ cute hobby

 

The line moved forward, inch by inch.  He glanced around again, hoping to see Kaidan somewhere in the crowd.  Maybe he’d run into a patient and they were chit-chatting; it wouldn’t have been the first time.

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:46:_  I thought so.  Seriously, though.  People watching. It’s been entertaining

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _14:48:_  oh yeah?  See anything good?

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:47:_  possibly…

 

He breathed a small sigh of relief; Kaidan was making his way back to the line, grinning as he caught Shepard’s eye.

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _14:52:_  ? You gonna leave me hangin?  C’mon, Vakarian

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:53:_  well, ok.  There *is* one you mmmmmight be interested in…

 

Kaidan slid back next to him in line, taking the shopping bag from him.  “Did I miss anything?”

 

Shepard grunted, furrowing his brow at his phone.  “Not really...Garrus is being cryptic again.”

 

“Oh.  Huh. That’s odd.  You guys going to play again soon?”

 

“Dunno...s’pose I could ask him now.”

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _14:54:_  Too late, I’ve lost interest.  Keep your secrets. Kaid wants to know if we’re playing again sometime soon.  I can’t tonight, I have plans

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:54:_  damn.  I think you’d be really interested in what I saw.  And I dunno, has Joker gotten over being butthurt since the last time we logged on?  

 

The three of them played online games together, even before Shepard had gotten a job at the practice where Garrus and Joker worked in the IT department.  The first time Shepard and Garrus had met in person was in the lunch room and that had only further solidified their friendship.

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _14:54:_ I dunno.  If he wants to farm for artifacts again, he’ll get over it

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:55:_  fair point.  Tell Dr. Alenko I say ‘hello’

 

“Garrus says ‘hi’.”

 

“‘Hello’ back.  When is my new tablet coming in?” Kaidan asked distractedly as they reached the counter.

 

“I dunno; he won’t know, either, until he gets back to the office.  Not everybody lives there like you do.”

 

 **_Shepard_ ** _14:56:_  He says ‘hey’

 

 **_Garrus_ ** _14:56:_  I see you taught him your kind of charm.  Also, Tali recommends the mango passion fruit berry smoothie.  It’s quite tasty. She also wants to know what’s in the bag and when the wedding is.  Cute kiss, btw. That’s a much better hobby than sewing buttons

 

An icy drop of dread hit the pit of his stomach before spreading cold tendrils through him, rooting him to the spot.  Kaidan glanced over his shoulder, grin fading at the look on Shepard’s face. “John? What’s the matter?” Shepard showed him the text and all good humor on Kaidan’s face evaporated.  “ _Shit_...we really have to talk to Pressly, and soon.”

 

Shepard huffed a frustrated sigh and hit the call button, putting it to his ear and stepping out of the line while Kaidan finished their order.

 

“Don’t worry, she’ll keep it to herself,” Garrus said immediately on pick up.  Tali babbled happily in the background, mall sounds amplified. “She thinks it’s romantic.  The stuff of the silver-screen, _Fleet and Flotilla_ forbidden love-type romance she eats up.”  

 

“Hi to you too, Garrus.  Where are you?”

 

“On the move; we have more errands to run for her dad.  Why he can’t do the pick-ups for his own electronic salvage, I don’t know.  But I think it’s his way to keep the two of them somewhat connected. And I thought you guys were trying to keep it quiet.”

 

“We _are_.  Why are you spying on us?”

 

“I’m _not_ spying, you just happen to be where I was looking.  And where Tali was looking. And then you got all mushy in public.  That’s not keeping it very hidden.”

 

Anger blazed through his gut.  He shouldn’t _have_ to keep it hidden.  Kaidan finished up at the counter and came over to him, carefully keeping space between them as he handed Shepard his smoothie with pursed lips.

 

“I don’t expect you to know what it’s like, so I’m trying very hard not to get mad.”

 

“Shepard-”

 

“ _No_ , Garrus, you don’t know how _hard_ it is to continually try to hide a piece of yourself all the time when other people can be as blatant about it as they want.  Or what happens if you _do_ slip and show that hidden piece, and immediately get jumped all over for it.  Jesus fucking Christ,” he hissed into the phone as they walked towards the entrance.  His heart broke a little when he glanced back at Kaidan; the older man was very carefully keeping his face blank, but he could see the turmoil behind his eyes.

 

“I’m...I’m sorry, Shepard, you’re right.  I don’t know. It must be horrible. I didn’t mean to make light of it, I just…”

 

“Just didn’t think,” he sighed as they reached the Porsche.  Kaidan unlocked it and got in silently, tossing the bag in the piss-poor excuse of a back seat.  “I know, it’s not something you _have_ to think about.  I’m not really mad at _you_.”

 

“Well, thank you...I’m sorry for not thinking.  I know what it’s like to be marginalized, just not the same way you’ve been.  I got your back. Nobody’ll know about it from me, put it that way.”

 

“Seriously.  This can’t get out at the practice.  If anybody catches-”

 

“Hel-looo, Shepard?” Tali’s soft accent interrupted him.  “Don’t worry. I understand. _Completely._   It’s better to just avoid that kind of mess altogether.” 

 

“Tell me about it,” he said testily.  “Listen, I thank you for keeping it to yourself.  Maybe there’ll be a point in the future where it doesn’t matter, but... now’s not it.  Unfortunately.”

 

“Not a problem, Shepard.  Like I said, I understand.  And for what it’s worth...I hope you don’t have to hide it anymore soon.  Nobody should have to hide who they love.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *'slocked' = a padlock (or many) put in a sock, pillowcase, or some sort of bag to be swung as a weapon to beat the ever-living _crap_ out of the target


	5. Anatomy Lessons of the Private Sort

_**Following Protocol**_ , by potionsmaster

 

Rating: M

 

 **Chapter 5:**   _Anatomy Lessons of the Private Sort_

 

~*~*~*~

 

They drove back to Kaidan’s condo in silence, Shepard’s hands clasped in his lap.  Kaidan’s lips were still pursed. They entered the kitchen and Kaidan dropped the shopping bag next to the coat rack by the door before moving further into the room, not meeting his eyes.  Shepard stood awkwardly by the island, trying not to cross his arms as he watched the other man bang cupboard doors to get out supplies for dinner. He was at a loss; any good mood from their excursion earlier was completely shot.

 

Kaidan got out a head of lettuce from the fridge and washed it, shaking the excess water off in the sink and tossing it down on the cutting board before forcefully chopping it.

 

“D’you...want...help with that?” Shepard asked cautiously.  The other man threw the lettuce in a bowl and yanked open the crisper drawer again, head buried in the fridge.  

 

“No,” came the terse answer.  Shepard winced, sliding onto the stool to the island and leaning on his elbows.

 

“...are you mad at me?”

 

“ _No_ , I…” Kaidan sighed, grabbing some more vegetables and rinsing them, “I just...I saw that couple walking ahead of us today, holding hands, and I thought it’d be nice to be able to hold your hand, too, and… and I didn’t, because the only thing I could think of was ‘what if somebody sees, what then?’, and then Garrus and the whole- ” He banged a couple of carrots down on the cutting board.  “ -the whole situation just _stinks_.  Thinking every second of every minute we’re together in public that I just want to be able to _touch_ you without causing a possible scene, treating each other like we’re a dirty little secrets.  And that’s not something I should _have_ to think. You, either.  I know why-” he said, holding up his hand before Shepard could protest, “-and lord knows, we both have a lot at stake.  But still. The principle of the matter has me all... _cattywampus_.”

 

Shepard couldn’t help himself; he snorted.  “Cattywampus… heh. Can tell you’ve been living in the Midwest for awhile, you crazy Canuck.”  Kaidan paused in his veggie-chopping, smiling tightly at the cutting board. “I get it, Kaid…”

 

“Yeah, I know you do.  You have more to lose than me in some aspects.  I just-“ the knife clattered as he dropped it and shook his head. “I just… want to be able to _touch_ you.  And not feel like I’m going to get punished for it by some big, bad, unknown.”

 

“Right?”  Shepard wrapped his arms around himself, watching the unhappy slump of his partner’s shoulders.  “D’you…” he swallowed, “....d’you not want to…”

 

“Not want to _what_?” Kaidan muttered, resuming his chopping.  

 

“Not want to.  Y’know. Do this.  Anymore.”

 

The silence grew thick and heavy in the air, knife paused above the cucumber it was slicing.  He held his breath, waiting. It wasn’t a happy thought, but he certainly wasn’t going to force Kaidan into a relationship where he was a secret if he didn’t want to be.  The whole relationship had been a whirlwind and bizarre fairy tale he’d gotten wrapped up in and he had no idea how to handle it, truth be told.

 

“Now, why would you think that?” came the quiet response.

 

“I dunno, I…” Shepard faltered, picking at his sleeves.  “I...don’t want to force you into anything. It’s...ok. It’s not your fault I’m not out everywhere.”

 

A measured exhale and the knife being gently placed on the cutting board was the only sense of motion he got for long, dreadful minutes.  Finally, Kaidan whispered, “...that hurts like hell, that you would even say that. You’re not _forcing_ me into _anything_.”

 

“I know I’m being a pain in the ass with having to find stupid ways to warn you when we can and can’t touch, or finding someplace to go where it’s not a big deal if we do, or-”

 

“Listen up.  And listen carefully, John.”  Kaidan’s voice was clipped and low.  “I don’t appreciate you assuming you know all my thoughts and feelings on the matter, because you _don’t_.  And I really.  _Really_.  Don’t like you assuming I want to drop everything with you.  Because newsflash, _I don’t_.” Shepard ducked his head, heat rising in his cheeks.   “I happen to like you, you ass. And yeah, sometimes it’s a little frustrating, and scary not knowing what could happen if someone we don’t want knowing finds out.  That doesn’t mean I want to _end it_ with you.  Why would you even _think_ that?”

 

“I dunno, I...don’t want to trap you.”

 

“Why don’t you let me decide for myself if I feel trapped or I want to end it.  I won’t stop you if _you_ want to, but don’t make that decision for me, please.”  Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “...what do _you_ want right now, Shepard?”

 

 _‘Ouch...back to ‘Shepard’ again,_ ’ he thought.  Kaidan must really have been pissed at him.  “I want to be with you,” he said, still messing with his sleeves.

 

“Couldn’t tell by the way you closed yourself off,” Kaidan snapped, picking up the knife again.  Even the knife on the cutting board sounded angry. Shepard dropped his head to the cool granite countertop, groaning to himself.  This was _not_ how he pictured their evening going.

 

“Well...what do _you_ want?”

 

“Same as you.”

 

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t tell by the way you closed yourself off today, either,” he shot back.  “You clammed up and shut down just as hard as I did.”

 

“...that’s fair.”  Kaidan’s shoulders drooped again, the sharp clack of the blade losing some of its vigor.  Shepard wasn’t sure, but he thought he might have heard a sniff. That more than anything felt like the knife had just stabbed him in the chest.  He sighed and pushed himself off the stool, mentally debating if he should ask Kaidan to take him home after dinner in order to give him space.

 

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?”

 

“ _Yes_ , John.  I’m sure.  It’s a sucky situation we’re in.  We’ll get over it.”

 

“How, though?  I mean...it’s not about to magically get better.  We’re both still keeping it quiet...aren’t we?” So much for fairy tale endings in the sunset.

 

“Yeah, as much as we can until things stabilize more…”

 

“So?”

 

“So come over here and hug me, dork.” Kaidan looked at him sadly over his shoulder.  “If we’re both upset that we aren’t able to touch each other, I think that’s the first step.  Don’t you?”

 

“Hey now,” Shepard chided shyly, making his way over to the other man, “Don’t you steal my nickname for you.”  He wrapped his arms around Kaidan’s middle and rested his chin on his shoulder, feeling the tension drain out of both of them.

 

“Yeah, well, if the shoe fits and all.  Good thing we got you a pair.”

 

He nipped lightly at Kaidan’s ear.  “Did you just…”

 

“Yep.”

 

“That is _such_ a terrible joke.  Don’t quit your day job.   _Dork_ ,” he laughed.

 

“Well, if I did, maybe I could find work as a voice actor,” Kaidan said, resuming chopping. “Remind me to do my version of the Animated Series Joker for you at some point.  Especially if it’ll end up with us like last night again.” He bumped his hip back into Shepard, smile creeping back on his face.

 

“Sounds like a date.”

  


~*~*~*~

  


Later that night he was still marvelling at the vaulted ceiling and king-sized bed Kaidan had as he lay face-down with his shirt rucked up.  Kaidan was lightly straddling his hips, rubbing the lingering tightness out of his shoulders and back.

 

“So we left off with the what?  Latitude long-i?” he teased. He could swear he heard Kaidan’s eyes rolling.

 

“Yes, that’s exactly what it’s called.  And over here-” Kaidan slid his hands under the ridges of Shepard’s hips and lifting up slightly “-there be dragons off the edge of the map.  Heathen.”

 

He inhaled sharply as Kaidan’s fingers slid underneath his waistband, delicately tracing the line of muscle to his groin.  “You a pirate now?” he shivered, pressing his ass against his partner. Kaidan pressed a gentle kiss on his shoulder and groaned quietly.

 

“Maybe.  Left the nautical life behind, though.  Kinda prefer dry land long-term. Though if I had a ship, I dunno.  Want to live life on the run on the high seas with me, babe?” Kaidan slipped his hands back up Shepard’s stomach and chest, pulling the younger man’s shirt over his head.

 

“Yarr,” Shepard huffed with a half-grin, glancing back over his shoulder.  “Only if it’s a space ship, though.”

 

“Heh.  Of course you’d want to be a damn space pirate,” Kaidan chuckled softly, nipping his ear before perching on Shepard’s hips again.  

 

“Why not, right? While we’re at it, why not work for a spy organization?  Who better to gather intel and keep galaxy-wide peace than a pair of spec ops spectres?  And then we wind up getting split for a few missions and then we come down on opposite sides of a coup to throw the government because of misinformation set up by a terrorist organization with a sleeper agent in the system, and we draw down on each other - _ohhh_ …”

 

Shepard lost his train of thought at Kaidan’s hands rolling over his shoulders and kneading the muscles in his neck.  “You talk too much sometimes, anybody ever tell you that?” Kaidan asked, amused.

 

“Nope,” he mumbled, shivering again.  “You bring it outta me.” He sighed happily, relaxing under Kaidan’s hands.

 

“I’ll take it as a compliment.  You still, ah. Interested in the _anatomy_ lesson?”

 

Shepard rolled his hips back against Kaidan’s again, quirking an eyebrow at him.  “Wouldn’t have brought it up again if I wasn’t. If you feel like giving it, I will listen.”

 

“Uh-huh.  Sure. So, ‘latitude long-i’, or the latissimus dorsi, then moves into your trapezius muscles, which helps stabilize your scapulae and plays a major role in your back and neck’s movement…” Kaidan’s hands smoothed up his spine to the base of his neck again, thumbs pressing gently on either side of his spine. “...and goes to your deltoid…”  Soft lips and softer words whispered against Shepard’s ear as Kaidan rolled his palms over the joint of Shepard’s shoulders, warmth radiating out of his hands.

 

“God,” he breathed, eyes fluttering closed.  “How did you not get laid in med school with this again?” Kaidan continued to slide his hands down Shepard’s arms and leaned on him, bare chest on his back.

 

“Wasn’t exactly a priority or the goal of learning it, babe,” Kaidan murmured, nibbling his ear.  Shepard groaned and tipped his head to the side, tilting his hips up to meet the growing hardness rubbing against him.

 

“I suppose that’s a good thing, then.”  He shifted himself slightly to allow his own hardening length some freedom against the mattress and inadvertently pressing his ass into Kaidan again.  “Means I’m the special one.”

 

“Mmhm,” Kaidan chuckled, “You are to me, anyway.”  He laced their fingers together and brought Shepard’s arms loosely over their heads, squeezing them.  “Keep ‘em here, please?”

 

Shepard cracked a skeptical eye at him.  “For now,” he teased. “You might outrank me, but neither of us is active duty and I don’t have to listen if I don’t wanna.”  

 

Another gentle nip on his ear had him shivering.  “You can call me ‘sir’ if you want, but it’s not necessary,” Kaidan teased right back, kneading up his arms and pausing over his biceps.  “Here is your biceps brachii, both long and short heads…” His lips trailed down the back of Shepard’s neck, hips grinding into him. “Combined with the brachialis and brachioradialis muscles, they flex and rotate your arm.”  Kaidan shuddered, resting his forehead against the back of Shepard’s head as their hips rolled slowly together. “I...want to be in you tonight,” he whispered. “Please?”

 

Shepard paused, blinking. The other man drew back a little, stroking his hands over his shoulders again.  He debated with himself as the silence between them grew, comfortable and cozy. The mattress dipped next to him a few moments later as Kaidan slid off and snuggled up next to him, kissing his cheek.

 

“Never mind.  I felt you tense up a little again, and we never talked about it, so you don’t have to.  We can do something else if you’re not comfortable.”

 

“No, I...it’s been awhile.  We had similar situations, I think.  Before we met, I mean.”

 

“Oh?  How so?”  Kaidan ran his hand over Shepard’s lower back, tangling their legs together.

 

“I remember you said it had been years since you bottomed.  Well, same for me. I _have_ before.  Not very often, true, but I’m...not completely opposed to it.”  His ears grew hot against his will, folding his arms under his chin as he looked at the older man.

 

“Yeah, well, you usually get a little tight whenever I go near your rear, and the few times we’ve had sex, I’m the one who gets my socks knocked off by _you_ in _me_.”  He kissed Shepard softly, sucking on his lower lip.  “It’s fine, I’m not mad. And it’s not hard to tell what you prefer, John.”

 

“If I do, I don’t mean to.  It’s not that I don’t trust you. Because I do.  It’s probably just…”

 

“Nerves?”

 

“Yeah…” Shepard leaned into him, kissing him again, slow and lingering.  The other man hummed in appreciation, sliding his hand just under Shepard’s waistband again.  “Been awhile. Time to break the cycle.”

 

Kaidan grinned at him, dark eyes sparkling in the dim light.  “You sure?” Shepard nodded, biting his lower lip and releasing it slowly.  “Only if you’re sure.”

 

“Kaid.  I’m sure,” he huffed, amused as he leaned in for another kiss.  “Though my latimus-longimus dorsi-spinatus is a little tight again.”

 

“Uh- _huh_.  Smooth, John.  Next time, you can just ask for a rub down, heh.” Kaidan settled on his hips again, kneading his shoulders and kissing the top of his head before murmuring in his ear.  “You change your mind at anytime, say the word and we stop. I’m serious.”

 

Shepard rolled himself against Kaidan’s groin with a shaky exhale.  “So’m I, babe...feeling you _there_ earlier was _not_ a deterrent.”

 

“' _There’_ , huh?” Kaidan teased, nuzzling the back of his neck.  “Do I need to go over proper terminology for ‘ _there_ ’, too?”  

 

“Please don’t,” he mumbled, shivering as he felt Kaidan’s hardening length nestle between him. His partner chuckled, leaning over him to reach in the nightstand for lube and a condom.

 

“Kinda takes the sparkle out of the moment, I guess.”

 

“Kaid…”

 

“Shutting up now,” the dark haired man murmured, kissing the back of Shepard’s neck and rolling his pants down his hips.  Shepard lifted himself up a little to give him room to remove his clothes, shivering as his bare back met Kaidan’s chest again.  Warm lips ghosted down his spine and shoulders, goosebumps trailing in their wake as Kaidan kicked off his own pants and knelt between Shepard’s legs.  He spread his legs a little further to give Kaidan room, shivering as gentle hands moved down to his thighs and tension drained out of him.

 

He let his head rest on the pillows, eyes closed and waiting in anticipation for the soft click of the cap on the bottle.  Kaidan tugged lightly on his hips again, running his palms over the the smooth expanse of skin when Shepard complied.

 

“Beautiful,” he said quietly, kissing down Shepard’s spine.  Shepard gasped and pushed back against Kaidan’s hand as a gentle finger caressed his cleft.  “Still good, babe?”

 

He glanced back over his shoulder, moistening his lips and nodding.  Kaidan gave him a soft smile and stroked between him again, slowly pressing a lubed finger in.  “Just making sure.” Shepard moaned and let his head drop back to the pillows, rolling his body into Kaidan’s hand.

 

“Fuck…” he breathed.  Kaidan’s other hand wrapped around his hardened length in front, strokes matching that of his hand in back.  He lost himself to the rhythmic motion they found together, pressing forward into Kaidan’s hand only to languidly slide himself back and onto his finger, coaxing small moans and breathless sighs from him as he relaxed into it.  Another finger added made him shudder and pause, panting shallowly.

 

“Too much?” Kaidan kissed his shoulder, waiting patiently.  After a moment, Shepard shook his head and pushed back on him again, pleasure sparking along his skin.

 

“Want you,” he whispered.  “I’m ready.” The emptiness as Kaidan withdrew and fumbled with the wrapper seemed to stretch into eternity.  He moaned again and arched his back as he felt Kaidan slide between him. “Holy shit, babe…”

 

“Still sure?” his partner asked, wrapping a hand around himself and circling Shepard’s entrance.  He groaned.

 

“Tease.”

 

“Only because I like hearing the sounds you make,” Kaidan whispered, pushing slowly inside. “God _damn_ , John... _ohhh_ …”  

 

He panted shallowly, waiting to get accustomed to being so full, and reached back for Kaidan’s hand.  They laced their fingers together, Kaidan’s thumb brushing soothingly over his knuckles. “...ok to move?  Or not yet?” he murmured, lips brushing over Shepard’s skin.

 

Shepard squeezed his hand and nodded, not trusting himself to speak.  It was a peculiar sensation to have Kaidan in him, though not unpleasant.  Just _full_ , and then it felt like someone had taken a small battery and sent electricity zinging along his skin, stealing his breath and leaving him wanting more as Kaidan rolled their bodies together.  Silken sighs and soft moans drifted over him, mingling with his own in shared pleasure. He pressed himself against Kaidan, taking himself in hand and rubbing his thumb over the tip.

 

“Close...Kaid, _god_ …”

 

He tipped his head to the side as Kaidan nibbled his ear before gently sucking on it, covering Shepard’s hand on his length and squeezing gently, stroking him in time with their hips.  It was almost too much when Kaidan put an extra roll in his stroke and slide himself along Shepard’s _spot_ , wrenching a surprised moan out of him.  

 

“Again?”

 

“Please... _fuck_ me, _god_... _Kaidan!”_

 

White danced through his vision and he couldn’t tell where his body stopped and Kaidan’s began as they moved together, pace increasing and breathless moans filling the darkness around them, winding him tighter and tighter until he couldn’t possibly stand it and he was laid bare for Kaidan, boneless and panting as he spilled over their joined hands.  He reached behind and cupped the back of Kaidan’s head, keeping their cheeks together as they rode out the waves that still crashed around them and through them.

 

Soft kisses pressed on his pulse, slowing the racing thunder under his skin and matching Kaidan’s as he lowered them back down to the bed and wrapped himself around Shepard.

 

“Holy _fuck..._ he panted when he trusted his voice again.  Kaidan chuckled tiredly, lazily kissing his shoulder.

 

“I take it you didn’t mind it.”

 

“Uh...no.  No, I didn’t.”

 

“‘M glad,” came the amused response.  They both huffed a sigh of disappointment when Kaidan softened and slipped out.  He grabbed a few tissues and handed them to Shepard, then cleaned himself up before tucking back behind the younger man again.  “...thanks, babe.”

 

“For what?”  He looked over his shoulder, Kaidan’s strong face already slack as he drifted.

 

“For _this_...all of this,” he mumbled into Shepard’s shoulder. “G’night.  See you in the morning, babe.”

 

Kaidan’s arms tightened around Shepard as he buried his face in the back of Shepard’s neck, breathing smoothing out in slow, even breaths, a soothing lullaby in its own right.

 

“G’night, Kaid.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Changing the Rules of Engagement

**_Following Protocol_** , by potionsmaster

 

Rating: M

 

 **Chapter 6:** _Changing the Rules of Engagement_

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Normandy Orthopedics, this is Khalisah...how may I help you?”

 

Shepard fought not to roll his eyes at the heavily sarcastic voice in the cubicle to his right; he had never met a person who was so disdainful of their job before her and actually instigated fights with clients.  He tried to block her out as he notated his patient’s account with a refill request. Khalisah was amusing the way popping a zit was: while the stories she regaled the room with of patient stupidity she encountered on the phone were cringe-worthy and sometimes painful, it was strangely satisfying when it was all over to see the resulting red face she ultimately got when she was done venting.

 

“I’m sorry, _ma’am_ , but I have to know exactly what happened so I can pass that information on to your doctor…I understand that you’re in pain, but I really must insist-There’s no reason to use language like that!...I’m sorry you feel that I’m being argumentative.  No, there’s no need to tell Dr. Lawson-Oh, _darn_!  I _do_ apologize, but that appointment I mentioned earlier?  The one for next week? Someone else snagged it while we were _discussing_ -nevermind.  I’m sorry? I didn’t catch that.  One more time? The phone keeps cutting out…”    

 

He could almost hear the acid sizzling in her mouth.  Shepard pulled up Dr. Lawson’s schedule and looked at the open ‘reg pt’ spot in the middle of next week.  He shook his head; he knew exactly what she was doing.

 

“You have a _wonderful_ afternoon, now…bye-bye,” Khalisah simpered, then followed with a muttered, “Bitch,” after she punched the button to hang up.  She blew out an exasperated breath and threw her headset on the desk.

 

“Can you _believe_ the audacity of people??” she said loudly to nobody in general.  Nobody responded. “I mean, really...so rude! And especially when I was just trying to help.”

 

Still no response.  Everybody was trying to keep their head down and not engage her. The door to phones opened, catching everyone’s attention, and a pair of light blue scrubs slipped in, papers curled in a tube in one hand.

 

“Hello, ladies…John.”  Kaidan’s warm gaze swept around the room as he walked towards Samara, settling on Shepard an extra moment before he bopped him on the top of his head with the papers.  “Ready to get your butt into gear tomorrow?” Shepard felt his ears burn as all eyes in the room turned towards him.

 

“Uh...yeah, um.  Doctor. Looking...looking forward to it.”

 

“Glad to hear it.  Say, Samara, I looked these over. Thank you for printing them off for me.” He handed her the rolled up papers.  “Only thing that needs to be changed is arrival time request. I’d like patients to arrive 20 minutes before the appointment, not 15.  Front Desk says they’re having trouble with patients not having enough time to complete the paperwork before we call them back and it’s throwing us behind a few minutes.  Also, ah. Rule change, too. No ganglion cysts anymore.”

 

That made Shepard pause and glance back at him.  “None at _all_?”

 

“Yep.  We’ve been getting an inordinate amount of them on our schedule for whatever reason and we have more specialized doctors than I to deal with them.  They should be going to them in the first place; I just keep referring them on and it’s a waste of their time and mine.” Kaidan glanced down at him, shifting his weight and biting back a grin.

 

“Even Baker’s’ cysts?  That...that’s what they’re called. Right?  The ones that’re on knees? Right?” Shepard’s heart was in his throat as he heard Khalisah pause in her phone conversation next to him; he gathered that it wasn’t a typical thing to question a doctor directly about their rule changes.

 

“No, that’s right.  I suppose you have a point; I’ll still see them on knees.  We’re getting all the ones on extremities. I’m general. They shouldn’t be on me to even start with.”

 

“Ok, thanks for clarifying, K-uh...Dr. Alenko.  I had one earlier today I put on your schedule and I just wanted to make sure I didn’t have to move it.”

 

Samara stared at Shepard, wide-eyed as Kaidan amicably shifted his weight again to look at him.

 

“Any time, John.” Kaidan turned back to Samara, leaning his elbow on the half-cubicle wall between Shepard and his supervisor.  “So, yes. No ganglion cysts on extremities, _please_.  If a patient requests specifically, ask first, per the norm.”

 

Shepard didn’t hear her reply as he concentrated on his computer again; Dr. Lawson’s nurse had just sent a task back to him approving a patient.  He bit his lip and smiled to himself as Kaidan surreptitiously bumped the back of his chair with his hip while he continued to talk to Samara. “Hi, this is John with Normandy Orthopedics, Dr Lawson’s office, and this phone call is for Rita.  We received a referral from your primary care office wanting to schedule an appointment and Dr. Lawson has agreed to take over care for....” he trailed off, rereading the diagnosis of _spondylolisthesis_ and trying to figure out how to say it; he’d had to have the nurse from the referring office spell it out for him.

 

“Spond-ih-lo-lis- _thee_ -sis,” Kaidan whispered behind him.  “Just say ‘back pain’.”

 

“...back pain,” Shepard continued, ears burning.  “If you could please give us a call back, our phone number is…” He finished his usual spiel and disconnected the call, glancing over his shoulder to see Kaidan still leaning on the half-wall and grinning at him.

 

“Well done, John.  Samara knew what she was doing when she brought you on,” he said warmly.  Heat dripped down the back of Shepard’s neck.

 

“Uh, thank you?  Just for my own edification, what exactly is it?”  Samara’s eyes widened even more at him and he heard Khalisah gasp.

 

“Well, short answer is it’s when one of your vertebra is slipped forward over another, usually in the lumbar spine.  Not to be confused with spondylolysis, which is usually what it progresses from, or spondylosis. Stand up and I’ll show you.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“If you don’t mind being a model skeleton, I can show everyone in here what it is.  Teaching moment. That is, if you guys can spare a minute, Samara.” Kaidan turned back towards the stunned woman.

 

“Oh...I sup _pose_ we could let the phones go for a minute or two…” she replied cautiously. Kaidan smiled at her and pushed himself off the cubicle wall.

 

“Great!  If you’d stand up, John?”  Shepard pushed back his chair and locked eyes with him, silently willing Kaidan to...something.  He didn’t know what, exactly, but it was _something_.  The doctor’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Back to me, please. Alright, everyone, you probably hear the nurses and us bandy about the terms ‘cerv spine’, ‘thoracic’, and ‘lumbar’, right?”  Nods from the others around the room only slightly made Shepard less self-conscious about them looking at him. Kaidan placed his thumb and middle finger on lightly on either side of his spine at the base of his cranium. “Well, cervical is the neck, and it goes from here to _here_ -” he slid his fingers down and paused at Shepard’s shoulders- “top of the shoulders. Thoracic is shoulders to mid back, here to _here_ -” Kaidan ran his fingers down further, stopping in the dip of his back- “and lumbar is your _low_ back, here to right above your tailbone.  Spondylolisthesis is in the lumbar area, usually L4 to 5.”

 

Goosebumps prickled Shepard’s skin under his shirt and he fought against a shiver as Kaidan gently let his hand drop away from him, stepping back.  Khalisah chewed her lower lip, glancing between the two of them intently. “So…” she said coyly, keeping her eyes on Kaidan while Shepard eased back into his chair, “Is it, like, a slipped disc or something?”

 

“No.  It’s a stress fracture.  A herniated disc, or ‘bulging’ or ‘slipped’ one, or a pinched nerve?  Those are all interchangeable terms and deal with the cushioning between the vertebrae.  Any other questions about it specifically, though, I’ll ask you to talk to Anderson; he’ll be able to get into much more detail about it.”  

 

“Everybody get that?” Samara asked.  More nods from around the room answered her. “Thank you for the lesson, Doctor, it will definitely make it easier for us to be more specific in our notes to you.”

 

“Oh, you’re welcome,” Kaidan replied, making his way back to the door.  “I would say ‘any time’, but patients and all. Thanks for being a good sport about it, John.  Have a good afternoon, guys. Keep up the good work.” The door closed behind him and Shepard’s face flamed.  As far as touching went, that was fairly benign, though when Kaidan’s hand was on his lower back, the only thing he could think about was Kaidan’s hand cupping his waist and hips instead, fingers digging in and those sinful, panting moans that matched.

 

“Oh, _my_ God, John...I would _kill_ to have been in your shoes there,” Khalisah gushed, leaning over the back of her chair.  “That must have been uncomfortable for you, though.”

 

“It was fine,” he muttered as he dropped back into his chair.  His ears and cheeks still burned, though the intensity was dropping.  Khalisah leaned on the half-cubicle wall between them, staring down at him.

 

“Obviously it wasn’t, because your face looks like a tomato.  It’s not like he was hitting on you or anything.” That brought the heat rushing back to his face and then some.  She snickered. “Oh, relax. I’m sure Dr. Amazing was just thinking you’d make a good dummy to show us things because you’re so skinny.  Don’t you have anybody at home to fatten you up?”

 

Shepard scowled at her, scooting his chair into his desk as far as he could manage.  “None of your business,” he muttered. She held her hand up in front of her, affronted.

 

“Well, sor- _ry_...you don’t have any pictures up like the rest of us do, so how’re we supposed to know?  You never say anything about your personal life, either.”

 

“That would be because it’s not important or pertaining to _here_ ,” Shepard grumbled, focusing on his computer screen.  “Work and private life stay separate.”

 

“That’s a real shame,” Khalisah smirked at him.  “I overheard Jack in the breakroom the other day saying she really wanted to ask you out for a drink and going to a club to dance.”

 

He thought he was going to die of embarrassment at her words; if his face got any redder, it would probably be visible from the freeway. “Well, she hasn’t asked,” he snapped, “And anyway, office romances aren’t really supposed to happen.  It’s all trashy soap opera and romance novel crap, anyway. If you want that type of shit, go watch daytime television and stop bothering me.”

 

Khalisah raised a sculpted eyebrow at him, sneering.  “Touchy, touchy. Maybe you should ask _her_ , then. Have a good time, cut loose.  You could really stand to lighten up some.”  She plunked back into her seat on the other side of the cubicle wall, phones ringing all around them.  The end of the day couldn’t come soon enough. At least they weren’t going running today.

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Kaid...this is ridiculous.  I _feel_ ridiculous,” Shepard grumbled, plucking self-consciously at his t-shirt and basketball shorts as they made their way from the east employee side entrance through the parking lot to the street the next afternoon.  It was comfortably warm starting to edge on ‘hot’. He never could get used to the weather in the Midwest; it was always cold and raw on up through March for winter, maybe a week or two of pleasant weather for spring, then it launched directly into ‘sweltering heat and humidity’ for summer before it melted back into the winter again in November.  No in-between seasons to speak of, regardless of what any weather man said.

 

“What’s so ridiculous about it?  You’re in sports clothes. Because you’re about to do something sporty.  Imagine that,” the doctor laughed. Shepard rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah, well...who the hell runs at their place of employment?” he grumbled as they started to jog.  There was a mile long loop of road surrounding the practice and undeveloped land that was perfect for keeping track of distance they had run, and Kaidan had been keen to point it out when they had discussed ways to spend more time together.

 

 _‘It’s perfect, really,’_ he had said, _‘It’s in the middle of where we live from each other, we’re both in the same spot most afternoons, low traffic once the parking lots clear...and it’ll be after hours, anyway.  Hardly anybody around to see, and if they do, so what? We’ll be running.’_

 

“Still can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” he continued to good-naturedly gripe before he got too winded, “This is madness.”

 

“Madness, because the reasons don’t make sense?” Kaidan chuckled over his shoulder. “You’ll be fine. C’mon, catch up!”  He lengthened his stride and Shepard groaned, dragging after him. He hoped his knee would hold up; ever since his discharge from the Navy, it was hit or miss when he tried to be more active.

 

“No, the reasons make perfect sense,” he groused, puffing as he tried to catch up.  “It’s madness because I’m being lazy and am complaining and am doing it anyway.”

 

“‘Lazy’ is not a word I would ever think to describe you, babe.”  Kaidan kept the pace steady and even, barely winded. “And you’ll probably be able to outrun me in no time.  Oh...before I forget, I set up a meeting with HR tomorrow afternoon, two o’clock. Is that going to be a problem?”

 

“No,” Shepard panted.  The sun was still ridiculously bright out and he was having a hard time not squinting.  He made a mental note to start bringing his sunglasses in from the car for the next time.  “I’ll tell Samara in the morning and I should be able to go; no big deal. I don’t have to tell her the reason for the meeting, do I?”

 

“Not unless you want to, but I think that defeats the purpose of us keeping quiet.”

 

“Why you gotta bring logic into it?”

 

“Because I’m a party pooper.  And I also think it’ll be easier for you if we don’t talk right now, heh.”  Kaidan huffed a laugh as they started their second lap.

 

“Naw.  I’m gonna pass you.  Can take you, any time, anywhere.”

 

“Uh-oh, I might get distracted and pull something then.”

 

“By?”

 

“I wonder…”

 

“Mm.  Would serve you right if you wrenched something because you were ogling my ass, Kaid.”

 

“Pff, right?  If only we knew a good doctor…”    

 

Shepard was too breathless to laugh as he sprinted to pass him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Following Protocol

_**Following Protocol**_ , by potionsmaster

 

Rating: M

 

 **Chapter 7:**   _Following Protocol_

  


~*~*~*~

 

Shepard closed the door to the phones room as quietly as he could, stomach tight and jumping as he made his way down past the bullpen to Charles Pressly’s office.  He was the HR manager and Shepard thought he was a bit of a tool, truth be told, but he was relatively benign overall. Kaidan was waiting outside the door already, small gleam in his eye and face neutral.

 

“Hey, John...I guess, uh...this is it.  You ready?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Kaidan gestured him inside and Shepard caught a glimpse of Khalisah peering into the room with an astonished look on her face as she walked by before the door closed gently behind them.   _Great, just great…_  Just what they needed; Khalisah digging more at him.

 

“Shall we?” Kaidan asked warmly, pulling out a chair for him.  He sank down slowly on the chair, the doctor following suit in the one beside him.

 

“So, Doctor.  John. You wanted to talk?” Pressly asked, steepling his fingers over the desk.  “What’s this pertaining to?”

 

They glanced at each other a moment before looking back at the politely perplexed other man.  Kaidan cleared his throat and shifted forward on his chair.

 

“I’ll start.  Workplace romances aren’t exactly frowned upon here, correct?”

 

Pressly furrowed his brow.  “Correct. They aren’t frowned upon, but they’re not exactly endorsed, either.  However, Normandy Orthopedics as a company understands that sometimes relationships happen.  If you _are_ involved in a workplace romance, you’re not required to disclose it per the handbook, but we strongly encourage it.  That being said, there are certain standards of conduct we expect all parties involved to adhere to. And those who are in management or a supervisor position are held to a more stringent level of conduct, of course.  Protocols have to be followed and all.”

 

Kaidan looked at Shepard once more before focusing back on Pressly.  “Well...first step’s first, I guess. We’re...disclosing it,” he faltered.

 

Shepard nodded, bumping his knee against Kaidan’s.  The silence was broken a minute later by Pressly’s chair as he adjusted himself in it.

 

“So...you two?”  They nodded. “You’re dating?”  They nodded again. Pressly pursed his lips, glancing between the two of them.  “... _Oh._  Ok, then.  Thank you for...telling us.”  He paused, still looking between them uncomfortably.  “...Do you have any questions?”

 

They looked at each other, a weight off Shepard’s shoulders a brief moment before a new one settled in.

 

“Yeah, ah...actually, we were... _concerned_ might be a strong word, but-anyway.” Kaidan bumbled his words, toying with the cuff of his shirt.  “John’s position. In Phones…”

 

“What about it?” Pressly asked.

 

“I think if word got around that, um.  Dr. Alenko and I. Were together, uh...people might assume I’m showing favoritism to him by scheduling appointments for just him, even when I’m not.  I’m scheduling for everyone,” Shepard interjected. “We have to keep a tally of how many new patients we get and who they get assigned to specifically in case fairness _does_ get called into question, but...people believe what they want to regardless.”

 

Pressly leaned back in his chair with another squeak, lips pinched and brow furrowed more deeply.  “Mm. That’s always a possibility. How long has your relationship been going on?”

 

“A month and change.”  Kaidan scooted his chair closer to Shepard’s, letting their knees touch.

 

“And you’ve kept it quiet so far?”  They nodded. “Well, our conversation here is strictly confidential.  None of what’s discussed here will be spread around the practice. If I might suggest something, John?  I agree, your position leaves you open for a lot of speculation by others and you might be better served in a position where there’s less room for accusations of favoritism.  Somewhere where it’s easily observable that you aren’t playing favorites, regardless on if you are or are not. Something like a front desk position, perhaps, or benefits verification.  Something where it’s more easily quantifiable that you’re not just doing work for Dr. Alenko, but work for all the providers we have.”

 

He breathed a sigh of relief.  He wasn’t going to lose his job.  And he wasn’t going to be told they had to stop seeing each other.  “That sounds ideal,” he agreed, leaning forward. “Do we have any openings?”

 

“Not currently, no.  And it appears…” Pressly pulled a small, thin folder from his filing cabinet and perused it. “....you’ve been employed here for about five months.  You must be in your current position for six months before you can apply internally.”

 

“Right…I think I knew that,” he said, glancing at Kaidan.  His partner gently squeezed his hand, Pressly pointedly clearing his throat and keeping his nose in Shepard’s file.  “I think we still want to keep it as under wraps as possible. I’m...I’m not out of the closet here, not generally. I mean, a couple people know, but they don’t really make a big deal about it.”  He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

 

“Yes, well,” Pressly said cooly, sparing him a glance.  “Normandy Orthopedics is a non-discriminatory employer. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with your capacity to perform your job, though it’s preferred that those types of discussions are kept out of the workplace period.  It’s private information about yourself and has no place in the professional setting.”

 

Kaidan furrowed his brow and took his hand back.  “I’m not out, either, for what it’s worth. Though it’s never come up before.  No reason for it to be a topic.”

 

“Exactly,” Pressly said with a light sigh, dropping Shepard’s file on his desk.  “The company expects professional behavior from its employees at all times on grounds, regardless of if you’re on the clock or not.  You represent the company to the world, no matter when. As such, public displays of affection are discouraged, particularly during hours of operation.”

 

“Yeah, that...seems to be pretty standard across the board,” Kaidan huffed an unamused laugh.  Pressly pursed his lips a moment, studying him.

 

“That’s not to say that if you’re both off-hours and are in a fairly secluded spot, you can’t acknowledge each other’s presence, though.  If you’re off the clock and in the break room, you’re more than welcome to be as affectionate with each other as you would ordinarily be in a public space.  Just be aware that your coworkers could walk in at any time. Now, if it _does_ become an issue and people start harassing either of you, we do ask that you report it to us and let _us_ handle it as much as we can.”

 

“Of course,” they both replied.  Shepard was a little skeptical; to his experience, most employers would rather terminate him than deal appropriately with the discrimination issue.

 

“Ultimately, people will eventually find out and the best you can do is try to control the damage as much as possible.  You certainly aren’t the first couple in the practice, and I have a suspicion you won’t be the last, either,” Pressly said, not unkindly.  “As an aside, you are not required to notify us if you decide later that you’re not a couple anymore, either. The only time we would require notification in status is if there’s a major life-changing event, such as marriage, a child, divorce, or death.  There are windows of time for submitting paperwork for updating insurance policies the company holds on your behalf that will have to wait til open enrollment if they’re not attended to immediately, but we’ll deal with that when we get to it. _If_ we get to it.”

 

Shepard’s ears grew hot.  Marriage? With new legislation in DC, it was more a possibility now than it ever had been before, but he wasn’t holding his breath on anything.  Kaidan rubbed his nose, flustered.

 

“That’s, ah.  Not something that’s come up as a discussion with us yet.  One step at a time.”

 

“Indeed, Dr. Alenko.  Thank you for letting me know.  Do either of you gentlemen have any more questions?”

 

Shepard looked at Kaidan again, exhaling slowly.  So there were options. The older man raised his eyebrows at him, then turned back to Pressly.  “I think we’re good on this. I did have something else I wanted to talk to you about, though. Adding clinical staff; Ash and I are getting an increase in patient load and we need another CMA to help process patients before we get in the room to examine them.”

 

“Alright.  Unless you’ve got anything else, John, thank you for taking time out of your day.  If you have any other questions or concerns that crop up later, just send me an email or pop in my office.”  Pressly stuck his hand out, smile bright and empty as a lightbulb.

 

“Will do.  Thanks for, uh...listening.  And the information.” Shepard grabbed his hand and gave it a couple of strong pumps as he stood up.  “See you around, Kai-, um. Dr. Alenko.”

 

Kaidan snorted in amusement.  “See you later, John. Have a good rest of your afternoon.” The tips of Shepard’s ears flushed again as the other man squeezed his knee one last time before he got up, leaving them discussing if the medical assistant position was warranted and if it had been approved by the board.  Ringing phones and soft greetings of ‘Normandy Orthopedics, how can I help you?’ washed over him as he opened the door to the crow’s nest and slid into his chair, logging into his computer and adjusting his earpiece. Samara’s chair was tucked neatly under her desk, computer screen dark.

 

“Where’d she go?” he asked Khalisah, nodding towards their supervisor’s empty desk.

 

“Minor family emergency; something with one of her daughters, “ she replied dismissively.  “More importantly, where were _you_?”

 

“HR…” he said cautiously, stomach clenching.  He knew she hadn’t forgotten seeing him or Kaidan in Pressly’s office.

 

“ _Really_?  No way.  I meant what were you _doing_ in HR.  Honestly, John, you’re so damn secretive,” she complained with an impatient shake of her head.  She logged out of her phone and leaned around the side of the cubicle wall, glint in her eye. “So, really.  What were you doing in there, John? And why was Dr. Alenko there, too? Was it something to do with the other day?”

 

 _Shit_.

 

“Uh.  Sort of…” he muttered, finger hovering over the pick-up button on his phone.

 

“Did you seriously complain to Pressly about Dr. Alenko using your as a crash dummy for parts of the spine?  God, he didn’t mean anything by it. Should he have said, ‘No homo’ before he did? Because that’s just so wrong, I can’t even-”

 

“Normandy Orthopedics, this is John.  How can I help you today?”

 

His stomach churned; the best he could think to do was to just ignore her outright.  “Homophobe,” she muttered at him as she turned back to her own desk again. The irony of the situation wasn’t enough to put any kind of amusement in the situation at the moment, though he suspected it would be funnier once he got some distance from it.  He turned his attention back to his phone call as much as he could; Khalisah was going to be a problem if he didn’t monitor himself around her.

 

“Yeah, hi, I think I broke my tailbone.  What do I do?”

 

“We can definitely see you for that.  What’s your name and date of birth, if you don’t mind me asking…”

 

~*~*~*~

 

Fridays always went quicker in the mornings than Kaidan liked.  He supposed it had to do with coming in mid-morning; it gave the illusion of time passing by faster and lunch always took him by surprise.  It was Friday afternoons that dragged on forever, the steady stream of patients in Urgent Care slowing to a trickle as people started their weekends.  He glanced at the clock on his computer in the dictation room, tapping his pen impatiently against the edge of the desk. 17:17. Shepard was supposed to come down and say goodbye since they weren’t going to spend the night together; Kaidan had trauma call at the hospital tonight and was just killing time by catching up on paperwork before his shift started.

 

“Hey…”

 

A soft knock on the doorjamb made him startle, looking at the looming figure in the doorway.  Shepard had a half-grin on his face, head tilted to the side as he poked his head in.

 

“Hey there,” Kaidan grinned, dropping his pen and getting up to peck him hello.  The other man blinked in surprise.

 

“That was bold,” he chuckled, leaning against the doorway.  “Thought we were trying to keep it quiet?”

 

Kaidan rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, well. After hours.  Most everybody is gone.”

 

“I know, Kaid.  I’m teasing. Oh, I, uh. Brought you these.  They’ve been in my desk since last week. You should’ve reminded me to give them back.”  Shepard held a pair of reading glasses out to him, grin broadening into a knowing smirk.

 

“Mm.  Thanks.  They’ll come in handy tonight, I’m sure.  Thanks, babe.” He tucked them into his pocket, standing up and hooking his fingers in Shepard’s belt loops, brushing the tips of their noses together.  

 

“I’ll bet,” the younger man murmured, briefly nuzzling him back.  “Wish you weren’t on call this weekend.”

 

“Me too, but.  One weekend a month isn’t bad.  And this is my one weekend. Besides.  One more week, and then it’s your birthday.  Right?” He patted Shepard’s arm and brushed past him, picking up a piece of paper that had fallen off the nurse’s station and looked at it.  Nothing very important, it looked like, just a list of dates in Jack’s handwriting. He shrugged to himself and placed it back on the desk, turning back to John.

 

“Yep.  Samara approved it off.  It was kinda funny; I put in for it, and then about a half hour later, we were told to start shifting your patients to Ash, heh.  She joked and said you must be going to my birthday party.”

 

“Well...she’s not wrong,” Kaidan chuckled.  He reached out and caught Shepard’s middle, pulling him close.  

 

“Kaid, _seriously?_ ” Shepard moved into him, craning his head to look down the hallway behind him.

 

“Told you.  After hours.  And it’s going to be a while before I get to see you again.  I’m on for 36 hours, then playing catch up at home. You’re more than welcome to spend the day at my place if you want Sunday, but it’s going to be a boring day for you.  I’ll be sleeping for a good part of it.”

 

Shepard bit his lower lip, brow furrowed in worry as he turned back to Kaidan.  “Tempting, but I know me and I’ll bug you by trying to read or something and wind up being restless and fidgeting.  I’ll keep you up too much. Besides, I’m supposed to game with Garrus and Joker this weekend. And Garrus said he wanted me to help him decide if he should shave his dreads or not.”

 

“I vote not.  I like ‘em,” Kaidan said, nipping at his partner’s lower lip.  Shepard chuckled.

 

“Me, too.  And I dunno why he thinks I’m a good person for fashion on hair.  I just keep mine buzzed.”

 

“It suits you,” Kaidan said, brushing his hand over the prickly velvet of John’s hair.  A beep sounded from his pocket. Shepard furrowed his brow, looking down at it. “Alarm.  It’s 1730. Means I gotta pack up and head to the hospital. Shift starts in an hour and I want to grab something to eat.”

 

“Ah.  Ok…” his partner said, relaxing a bit as Kaidan silenced the phone.  “Guess I’ll head out myself, then. Get home and fire up the console.”

 

“Mmkay.  Have fun tonight, babe.”  Kaidan tipped his head to the side, leaning in for a kiss.

 

“You too, Kaid, but I guess not too much?  Unless you count crazy fractures and accidents ‘fun’.  Then I guess...you’re in the perfect place.”

 

“Uh-huh.  Whatever you say…” he said, pressing their lips together.  “Kick some ass for me tonight.”

 

“Mmph.  Can do…” Shepard relaxed and kissed him again, softer and lingering. Time seemed to stop for a brief moment as Kaidan lost himself in the sensation, pressing himself against the other man.  A sharp gasp wrenched him out of the moment. Shepard’s face immediately drained as he stared past Kaidan at the nurse’s station. He whipped around to see Jack standing at the corner next to the desk, piece of paper in hand.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

Her dark brown eyes were wide and disbelieving as she glanced between them, mouth dropped open in a small ‘O’ of surprise.  

 

“Jack-”

 

She turned on her heel and sped off down the other hallway, jacket flapping.  

 

“Son of a _bitch_.” Kaidan ran a hand through his hair, other one on his hip.   The other man chewed his bottom lip, brows wrinkled in concern again.

 

“Well...Pressly did warn us, and he did say people would find out eventually.”

 

“Yeah, well, I didn’t think it would literally be one day after,” Kaidan replied testily, pulling out his phone and unlocking it.

 

“Yeah…” Shepard agreed, hunching his shoulders and stuffing his hands in his pockets.  “I...I should go. You should, too. Don’t want you to be late.”

 

“Babe...we didn’t do anything wrong,” Kaidan said, running a hand down his arm.  Shepard glanced at him.

 

“I know.  After hours, nobody was around.  Just like the mall.”

 

“I’ll talk to her.  Please don’t worry about anything.”  Kaidan squeezed his forearm reassuringly, kissing him on the cheek.  “Scram. You’ve got pixels to massacre.”

 

That got a huff of amusement out of John.  “That I do. Text me when you can, Kaid. See ya.”

 

One last small kiss was very worth having to rush out the door a few minutes later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. KA <3  JS

_**Following Protocol**_ , by potionsmaster

 

Rating: M

 

 **Chapter 8:**   _KA <3  JS_

 

~*~*~*~

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:42: _  you up?

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 23:45:  _ yeah, no thanks to u, asshole.  wat do u want?

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:45: _ halfway decent grammar and spelling, for one

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 23:46: _ fuckin hilarious, doc.  did u actually need something or did u just want to bust my chops

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:48: _  Actually...I wanted to talk about earlier.  At the practice, I mean.

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 23:49: _ wat about it, romeo?

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:50: _ ….I don’t actually know.  I guess nothing. Sorry to bother you

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 23:51: _  have to say, i didn’t think u actually had it in u.  King of the Boy Scouts, lockin lips with the new pretty boy of the office, of all people.  damn, doc. u know how to keep a secret

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:52: _ yeah...wel…

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:52: _ *well

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 23:53:  _ don’t worry, asshole, i’m not gonna tell anyone.  i’m happy for u two. though now i wanna hound him for drinks even more.  celebration is in order

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:54:  _ Uh huh.  He’ll still probably turn you down, y’know

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 23:55: _ just means ur gonna have to come out with and buy them for us

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:56: _ that, I think I might be able to do

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 23:57: _ and thats the *real* reason i stick with your sorry ass.  free booze

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:58:  _  well, at least it isn’t directly because I pay you

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 23:58: _ well, i mean...that too

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 23:59: _ it’s a date sometime.  Aiight, I gotta clock back in.  break’s over

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 00:00: _  don’t sew any hemostats in any patients tonite.  and i got another question for you

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 00:01: _ ?  seriously gotta go, MVA in the ED.  

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 00:01: _ so...was John that thing a few weeks ago?  w/ the girls bathroom??

 

**_Jack_ ** _ 00:47:   _ UGH.  such an *asshole*

 

**_Kaidan_ ** _ 03:12: _  …...c.c…...

 

 

 

 


End file.
